kit kats hate me

“Wanna Be A Baller” by Lil’ Troy

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:53:34 -0500

“Wanna Be A Baller” by Lil’ Troy

Me: So remember how I knitted that dress for Maggie?

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:47:16 -0500

Me: So remember how I knitted that dress for Maggie?

Boyfriend: I don't know how much of this lettuce I should cut off for salad.

Me: . . . :(

me: i'm having a smoked brisket, mozz, and bbq grilled pizza with 2 shiners

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:57:07 -0400

me: i'm having a smoked brisket, mozz, and bbq grilled pizza with 2 shiners
the 2 shiners were his idea

boyfriend: whos idea, the room service dude?

me: yeah

boyfriend: did you order one and he said 2 or just bring it up out of the blue?

me: someone's gonna come up and punch me in the face
i asked what they had and he asked what i wanted and i said shiner and he said two? and i said okay

boyfriend: i get it - shiner
see you're funny

me: I KNOW

"I like that painting. It wins art."

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 21:29:19 -0400

“I like that painting. It wins art.”

- says my boyfriend.

I'm A Weirdo Vol. 7

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:51:00 -0400

I change the words to Beatles songs to make them about my cat.

Grace in Small Things Vol. 113

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:27:19 -0400

I don’t know, the automatic postage machine at the Post Office.
I went missing for a week and the only one who noticed was my married co-worker with the obsessive crush on me.
I like pork chops.
We had leftover gravy from the brisket to cover up how shitty my mashed potatoes turned out.
The Ra Ra Riot show tomorrow night, assuming I don’t get hit by a bus beforehand.

"Can you tell I’m ignoring you?"

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:21:00 -0400

“Can you tell I’m ignoring you?”

- If Winston Could Speak Vol. 7

Why People Hate Me Vol. 2

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:19:35 -0400

I impose myself on them.

“William Tell Overture” by The Muppets

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:02:49 -0400

“William Tell Overture” by The Muppets

Grace in Small Things Vol. 112

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0400

Dave.
Karin.
Luke.
Mitch.
Susan.

Grace in Small Things Vol. 111

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0400

Frank.
Jill.
Justin.
Kreg.
Pete.

“Manah Manah” by The Muppets

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 19:57:08 -0400

“Manah Manah” by The Muppets

Grace in Small Things Vol. 110

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0400

Andy.
Caitlin.
Carson.
Courtney.
Marcus.

“The Importance of Being Idle” by Oasis

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:10:40 -0400

“The Importance of Being Idle” by Oasis

Grace in Small Things Vol. 109

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0400

Ashlee.
Caitlin.
Matt.
Sam.
Vahid.

Why People Hate Me Vol. 1

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 08:37:05 -0400

I yell at them about Colony Collapse Disorder.

"Great. The FBI chaplain is coming to give a talk on behalf of our family and half of us will be..."

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:49:48 -0400

“Great. The FBI chaplain is coming to give a talk on behalf of our family and half of us will be smoking dope in Jamaica. Jason, will you be serving your brownies at the Kiddush? It would be very spiritual.”

- says my boyfriend’s cousin.

Grace in Small Things Vol. 108

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0400

Peefer.
Ricky.
Scott.
Sir.
Teresa.

Grace in Small Things Vol. 107

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:20:06 -0400

Abigail.
Heather Anne.
Jenny.
Mysterygirl!
Shari.

“In My Life” by The Beatles

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:08:12 -0400

“In My Life” by The Beatles