[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

“Wanna Be A Baller” by Lil’ Troy

posted : Thursday, November 5th, 2009

tags :

  • Me: So remember how I knitted that dress for Maggie?
  • Boyfriend: I don't know how much of this lettuce I should cut off for salad.
  • Me: . . . :(

posted : Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

tags :

  • me: i'm having a smoked brisket, mozz, and bbq grilled pizza with 2 shiners
  • the 2 shiners were his idea
  • boyfriend: whos idea, the room service dude?
  • me: yeah
  • boyfriend: did you order one and he said 2 or just bring it up out of the blue?
  • me: someone's gonna come up and punch me in the face
  • i asked what they had and he asked what i wanted and i said shiner and he said two? and i said okay
  • boyfriend: i get it - shiner
  • see you're funny
  • me: I KNOW

posted : Monday, October 26th, 2009

tags :

“ I like that painting. It wins art.
— says my boyfriend.

posted : Sunday, October 18th, 2009

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I'm A Weirdo Vol. 7

I change the words to Beatles songs to make them about my cat.

posted : Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

tags :

Grace in Small Things Vol. 113

  1. I don’t know, the automatic postage machine at the Post Office.
  2. I went missing for a week and the only one who noticed was my married co-worker with the obsessive crush on me.
  3. I like pork chops.
  4. We had leftover gravy from the brisket to cover up how shitty my mashed potatoes turned out.
  5. The Ra Ra Riot show tomorrow night, assuming I don’t get hit by a bus beforehand.

posted : Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

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“ Can you tell I’m ignoring you?
— If Winston Could Speak Vol. 7

posted : Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

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Why People Hate Me Vol. 2

I impose myself on them.

posted : Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

“William Tell Overture” by The Muppets

posted : Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

tags :

Grace in Small Things Vol. 112

  1. Dave.
  2. Karin.
  3. Luke.
  4. Mitch.
  5. Susan.

posted : Monday, September 21st, 2009

tags : gist